Urban Culture and Society

How To Tone Arms With Your Thoughts

By Katherine Crawford M.S.

Trying to tone arms without optimizing your thought processes is like trying to drive a car across the country without any gas in the tank. As Seth Godin puts it, the dip prevents most people from reaching their goals.

Coined by Seth Godin, the dip is your worst enemy. It's the number 1 flabby arm accomplice. Yet most women fail to prepare for their dips.

This happens because there is an over-obsession with diets, flashy exercise programs and finding the next miracle pill. Thus, most women forget to focus on the single most important factor that will determine whether or not they get toned arms: long-term motivation.

Now I'll be honest here, staying motivated towards a goal for extended periods of time is NOT easy, but it's doable. And today I would like to share 4 rapid-fire strategies so that you don't get stuck in your dip:

1. Apply anger for short bursts of activity. Too much chronic anger will set back your goals many steps. It simply causes too many counterproductive reactions in the female body. However, if you can control its output to short periods of time, then it can work wonders.

2. Eliminate perfectionism. Non-perfectionists are far more productive-and successful-than perfectionists. Why? Because they continually keep on moving forward despite all those little nagging things that tend to go wrong. Just get the ball rolling and don't sweat the small stuff. 99% of your results will come from the ability to just keep on going and going, and going.

3. Set deadlines for all mini-goals, not just the big ones. We have been conditioned our entire lives to respond to deadlines. Why would your goal to tone arms be any different? Without a deadline, your sexy arm dream will be just that-a dream. Set an INSANE deadline which will force you to focus on only the most critical components.

4. Expose yourself to what you fear, a lot. If you do this, you'll become desensitized to whatever it is you're fearing. Fear defeated! The key here is to not go into shell shock. Make sure you take baby steps so that you become acclimatized incrementally.

If you want to tone arms, don't go around in circles by only focusing on diet and exercise. You have to optimize your thought processes to ensure long term success. And this is where most women fail. Although clich, it really is all in your head!

You Need A Better TV To Compete Online

By Sammy Jetert

If you are a gamer, you are behind the curve if you are using an old TV. So many people now have Nintendo Wiis and XBoxes and the world of online gaming is booming. One thing the Internet has done is to allow us to play games online with people all over the world. But what do you do if you are playing these multiplayer online games on an old TV?

All your competition is playing on a big state of the art flat screen TV not only making their game experience better, but easier. If you are saddled with an old TV, your best bet is to go get one of those cheap flat screen TVs so that you can keep up with the competition. It is impossible to compete in some of these online multiplayer shooting games if you own a regular sized TV. All the 14 year olds that are kicking your behind are doing it on their huge flat screens and you need something comparable to be able to keep up and compete.

Another reason why you might be getting beaten online is the type of connection you have. If many of the other players in your multiplayer game have cable Internet or FIOS from Verizon, their game is going to have virtually no lag and they will have an advantage over you. FIOS is the new fiber optic system that gives you the best and fasted Internet connection available and it is hard to compete against someone with that, as they are always one step ahead.

Even if you do have a flat screen, your picture quality may help determine how well you play. Some flat screens have better clarity than others and you need to make sure your screen is the correct brightness to be able to see everything clearly. There is a new flat screen that has just come out with LED backlighting that has the best picture on the market today. Anyone with one of these sets is going to have the highest picture clarity and that will aid them in any online multiplayer game.

Lastly, you could be playing against players that are decked out with the latest accessories and equipment. For instance, there are a variety of guns you can buy for the Wii that will allow you to aim more accurately and more easily. Someone who is playing the game with the normal controls against someone who is playing with one of these guns is at a disadvantage and might find it hard to do well. Unfortunately with online multiplayer games, between the differences in televisions, connection speeds, and accessories, all players are not on an equal playing field.

Advice and Tips for Relationship Trouble

By Lynn Huber

Being happy and comfortable in a relationship is something that every couple would want to experience. If you think, you have reached this specific stage, then good for you. It is relative. It actually depends on how you see happiness, comfort and stability of a relationship to be. The depth and meaning of every person's verbal description of happiness and comfort is enhanced when the relationship goes through a series of tests and still comes out victorious. You become happy when you are in love, you become even happier when after all the grief and pain, you still end up in each other's arms.

None of us can get past the fact that we all have relationship troubles. It's all part of learning about each other. Too-good-to-be-true kind of relationships will still encounter difficulties no matter what. There is no marriage nor a relationship made in heaven. Accepting trouble and dealing with it at a completely different perspective is the key to a stronger and more fruitful relationship.

Trouble can either make or break us. However, most couples deal with trouble in a way that can break both of them. Do you want to end up still troubled and disillusioned after having some kind or stage of trouble? On the other hand, do you want to learn from the trouble, get better and grow in order to avoid any similar trouble-making situations?

One of the most disheartening tasks in a relationship is how to fix a relationship in trouble. Relationship problems come at varying degrees. Whether your partner has cheated you several times over or perhaps you have been too selfish in looking to your needs than your mate's needs, one thing remains the same - there is trouble and you need to fix it straightaway before the problem bursts forth and leaves you into bits and pieces.

Accepting and Defense

Most of the time, couples neglect to accept the problem. They try to cover-up and pretend that nothing is wrong. The moment you sense that there is trouble coming your way deal with it right away. You need to communicate and talk about what you think and feel. Perhaps, you will see that after all, you only lack communication that is why there is trouble. Remember, communication is the blood that flows in a relationship. Without it, there is no mutual growth.

Pride and Humility

If you keep to insist that you are right without even hearing his/her side, you are trailing after the wind. The main preventative on how to fix trouble in a relationship is pride, resulting to opposition and conflict.

Opposition and Submission

The plan to fix relationship trouble works well when both partners learn to accept and submit as well as forgive and forget. Of course, it is easier said than done but the more you resist,the more you fall and get into more trouble.

Getting A Guy And Keeping Him

By Samantha Sanderson

How to get a guy, well there are many ways you can approach this subject. However, you need to first decide if this guy is one you want. If you have thought about it long and hard and decide that he is the one, than by all means continue on. We will give you some great ways to make that guy notice you.

Never pretend to be someone you're not. This is a dangerous thing to do in a relationship, and will most definitely hinder how to get a guy. People like their partners to be honest and truthful with them. This will include always being yourself. After all you wouldn't want the guy to not be himself.

Starting how to get a guy ideas, go and buy new clothes, or get a new hairstyle. Even color or highlight your hair. Something that will make him notices you. You know you'll be happy if he tells you he loves your new look. Plus when you go past your guy make sure that you always smile at him and eye contact is made.

When of the most important things to do in how to get a guy is to flirt. Yes the eye contact and smile are a bit of a flirt. But talk to him too, don't be too sexual about the flirting a nice subtle flirt will get you more places quicker.

Try and hang out with him as often as you can. How to get a guy great move is to head to the bar and watch the game, especially if you know he will be there. Or invite him out to lunch. Though if you're shy lunch may be a bit more difficult. But it will be a great way how to get a guy. And make sure you flirt at lunch!

Another great way how to get a guy is by making him feel special. Bake him cookies or something you know he likes and bring it to where he works. You will need to also be brave and assertive when you go about how to get a guy. However, make sure you don't take the assertive step too far and become bossy.

You will need to be assertive around this guy too. Also make sure you are brave, this is important for those shy girls out there. Don't let that shyness hinder your how to get a guy process. However, you need to ensure you don't get bossy.

Walking in front of this guy as much as you can, and make sure you swing your hips. He will look if he's at all interested in you. It's a guy thing, they love to see women shake and walk in a sexy way. Naturally, most of these steps go along with flirting. In fact how to get a guy should be said as how you can flirt in different ways. So get out there and go shopping for that new look and new hairstyle. And by all means practice on that flirting.

What Attracts Men To Women? Sexy Secrets Revealed.

By Samantha Sanderson

Physical appearance: Men just cannot resist a beautiful woman, no matter how hard they try. First impressions are lasting and most of the time the body is the first thing they see, not the level of intelligence. The list of physical appearance favorites are long lean legs, voluptuous red lips, soft long hair either blonde or black, soft buck-like eyes and firm rather large breasts. The ideal measurements according to majority of male irrational ideas are 34,32,34. Numbers sequences as difficult to find as that of winning lottery. However the impossible always manages to top the list of things that attracts men to woman.

Intelligence is important: Although not as important as looks, intelligence has it's own level of importance on the male scale of attractions. A man not only wants a beautiful woman but also a clever one as they are serious marriage and settling down material. The combination of sexy and clever is just irresistible to the opposite sex. Bye-bye bear foot and pregnant in the kitchen days.

Confidently independent: Confidence is always a great attraction. However confidence must be moderated. Men are very perceptive and will quickly pick up any fake, over and under confidence. Over confidence appears in the form of loudness and bulldozing, under confidence will give the idea of being pathetic and a sucker that is easily pushed around. Make eye contact while talking to a person and walk with you head held high for instant confidence boost.

Fire filled: Men are attracted to woman with a little fire, like a moth to a flame. I am not saying be a fire spitter or fish wife, merely someone who can fend for herself. A go-getter not being afraid to go out there and fulfill her needs. Men still want to be the guardian but prefer a woman who can stand her ground.

Be fun: Nothing is so attractive as a playful and fun woman. Almost unable to shake the 16 year old girl still lurking on the inside. Men adore being teased and tickled. This is the main reason why men are more attracted to younger woman as they have a hint of naivety and playfulness lacking in woman who are same aged or older than them.

Is Your Anger Getting Out Of Control?

By Peter Dawson

Do you get angry sometimes? We all get angry sometimes, and that's ok. Anger is programmed into all of us as a preconditioned response to various stressful situations. But for some anger can be a real problem, and they may be in need of some anger management techniques.

Like many emotions, anger can get out of control. It can become overpowering and get way beyond normal bounds. And this may have happened to you. But if you are finding that our anger is getting out of control it can damage your life in so many different ways.

And there can be all sorts of unusual and destructive behavior that results from excessive anger, like sulleness, grumpiness, overt aggression, withdrawal, short temperedness and more.

And this can escalate to more serious problems like threats of violence and real violence towards others, including ones own family and children, and friends. When this occurs the anger is way beyond what is normal and must be dealt with.

And this can lead to all sorts of more serious life problems like the breakdown of relationships with family and friends, loneliness and resentment and withdrawal. Life can become a burden and there can be even more serious problems than this.

And that's just the impact on the emotional state of the anger sufferer. There can be all sorts of health implications as well. For example excess anger can manifest itself in heart related problems and heart attack, high blood pressure and stroke, digestive problems and skin problems, insomnia and depression and more. It can get pretty scary.

And a serious anger attack can be unpredictable. It is usually triggered by a stressful event, and of course there is nothing you can do about stressful events in your life. Everyone suffers frustrations and setbacks in life and you can't prevent them to any degree. Everyone suffers from them, most get angry, but settle down and carry on with life.

But even though you can't stop those frustrating and stressful events happening to you it is certainly possible to change how you react to them. The events will happen, but how you react is what creates the anger and frustration.

If you know that it's your reaction that is the problem, not the event, this doesn't mean that you can immediately change how you react, it's a little harder than that. But it does offer hope that, using the right anger management techniques there is something you can do.

There are anger management techniques that work to allow you to change your reaction. They take some time to learn and different techniques work for different people. Some people may need professional treatment or counseling but others can make use of some simple anger management tips to help control their anger.

But there are answers to spiraling down into a life of rage and upset and broken relationships. It needs you to make the decision to take control of your life and do whatever it takes to learn the techniques. Once you've done that you ought to get down to work and start learning some solid and effective anger management techniques.

I offer an anger management book on my website full of anger management tips.

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What is a Stop Snoring Mouthpiece?

By Sophie June Hayes

If you are a heavy snorer you are unlikely to be popular if you ever have to share a bedroom! Until you realize that you have a problem, you are unlikely to try and do anything about it. A stop snoring mouthpiece is just one of your options depending on what type of snorer you are.

it may be a surprise for you to learn that there are several types of snorer. For example, are you a "tongue based snorer" where the tongue tends to slip back and obstruct your airway. On the other hand, a "mouth breather" tends to suck in air in such a way to cause excessive vibration and this may, or may not occur because of an abnormality in the nasal passages or small nostrils that could force you to do this. If vibration is your problem, then a stop snoring mouthpiece may well work for you.

A stop snoring mouthpiece needs to be initially fitted/moulded to your mouth and when worn, it acts by keeping the mouth and tongue in the correct position and stopping the vibration. There are two types of stop snoring mouthpieces, one you can mould to fit yourself and the other has to be fitted by a dentist. This "mandibular advancement device" actually moves the jaw and tongue forward by between 0 and 12mm (depending on the specific device), raising the soft palate and thus preventing any blockage of the airways that could lead to snoring.

If you have false teeth, gum disease or any mandibular joint dysfunction you should always take professional advice first. If buying a self-fitting device watch for whether or not any sideways movement is accommodated, and/or the ease of any possible mouth breathing as this is not possible with all devices.

There are of course other options besides the stop snoring mouthpieces. Other possibilities such as anti-snoring pillows, nasal and throat sprays, medications, exercises, or perhaps changes to the diet before you even consider surgery that is of course the most drastic option.

The remedy that works for the individual will differ according to how and why you snore. It is perhaps wise to consult a medical practitioner before you start buying any products. If you don't like the thought of putting a stop snoring mouthpiece device into your mouth all night, why not think about one of the anti-snoring pillows or another option is to consider the use of specific exercises.

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Family Law Counseling & Minor's Counsel

By Jon D. Alexander, Esq.

My name is Jon D. Alexander, Esq. and I am an Orange County, California Divorce Attorney. This article is the eighth article in a series outlining the divorce process in California. Please be aware that this article is not intended as and should not be relied upon as legal advice or as the creation of an attorney-client relationship.

Today's article explains, briefly, counseling under Family Code Section 3190. This section provides instruction on counseling of parents and children. Generally, in a family code proceeding regarding custody or visitation, the court can order any or both parties and the children into outpatient counseling with a mental health professional and if a necessary a substance abuse program.

The factors considered when determining whether such an order is necessary are: (1) a finding that the counseling is in the best interests of the children and that the disagreement between the parties (parents), will be a substantial danger to the best interests of the child if it is not alleviated by counseling; and (2) In the past five years there has been an incidence of domestic violence.

A family court may only order counseling that lasts up to one year. However, this one year limit is renewable. Court must also determine that counseling will not be an undue financial burden. You might remember from previous articles in this series, that family law court Judges are not authorized by statute to order parents or children into therapy (but a juvenile court can order therapy).

There are Minor provisions in the family code that govern appointment of minor's counsel. Family Code Section 3150.1 authorizes the family court to appoint a lawyer for the child if it's in the best interests of the child. The appointed attorney represents the child during a custody or visitation proceeding. Minor's Counsel's duties include (1) interviewing the child; (2) Reviewing files and records of the parties; (3) Conducting reasonable, necessary investigation; (4) locating and offering witnesses besides the parties (parents) to the case on the child's behalf; (5) Representing the child and arguing on behalf of the child's best interests; (6) in sum, Minor counsel represents the child just he would any other client.

Minor's Counsel has the ability to veto examination of the children even without a court order. And Minor's Counsel determines who may claim certain privileges that belong to the child. Minor's Counsel speaks for the child but also is bound to act in the best interest of the child and must convey the child's viewpoint to the court. This means that Minor's Counsel must report that, for example, the child wishes to live with Mom, but Minor's Counsel must also report whether this would be in the best interests of the child.

Keep in mind that Minor's Counsel is not an expert, like an evaluator, and isn't required to be. And if the attorney does present the best interests analysis, they are not required to submit to cross examination regarding his analysis. Minor's counsel can, however, interview others like care providers and mediators in order to reach his evaluation.

Under family law code Section 3151 at the court's direction Minor's counsel will be required to prepare a written statement of issues and contentions that explain the facts relevant to the best interests of the child. These statements usually contain a summary of information received from care providers, a list of the sources, results of the investigation, and other issues or facts relevant to the analysis.

There is no law on point that requires Minor's Counsel to be subpoenaed to testify in court. There is, however, an older case (McLaughlin) that is instructive regarding this issue. Theoretically, McLaughlin could be used to make an such an argument if a case involving Minor Counsel be required to testify is heard by an appellate court. In McLaughlin, a mediator made recommendations against a parent in a confidential mediation county. The mediator was subpoenaed and relied on the local rule which said he wasn't required to testify. The trial court ruled that the mediator need not testify. However, the Appellate Court reversed, forcing him to testify and be subject to cross examination. The Appellate Court held that there were constitutional issues involved and would not allow the mediator/witness to provide information to the court without be subject to cross examination.

So it would be possible for a party's counsel to argue that Minor's Counsel should be forced to testify and be subject to cross examination, using McLaughlin as precedent. Note, that while Minor's Counsel can claim this privilege to avoid testifying, but he can also waive it in favor of testifying.

In my next article, we will explore some interesting Minor's Counsel/Children issues and we will look at Parent's constitutional rights in the context of Divorce proceedings including some relevant and interesting case law. In the meantime, if you have any divorce or family law related questions please contact me at your convenience. You can reach me directly at my website linked below or you may email me Jon at oc-familylawyers.com.

How To Break Up With Your Partner Easily

By Anne Torres

Ending a relationship, for whatever reason, can be a difficult time. This article contains simple things that you can do to make it a smoother time for you and your ex partner.

1. Don't use the phone, text or email when breaking up

If you are the person ending the relationship and you care for the other person, give them the respect they deserve and do not use the phone, email or text to end the relationship. Have the courage to arrange to meet up with them and face them in person.

2. Keep it personal.

While you were dating, you were privilidged to information about the other person's personal life, their family, their job situation, their finances and I'm sure much more. When the relationship is over, do not feel it gives you the right to tell everyone all you know about the private life of your ex partner. If you want to maintain a good friendship with them in the future, this will only show you are immature and trying to hurt them.

3. Do not send wrong signals.

If the relationship is over, do not keep sending erroneous signals. By this I mean, don't keep emailing them repeatedly, texting them everyday, calling over to their house whenever you feel like it. This is making the other party aware that in your eyes it is not really over and you would be willing to start dating again. If this is not the message you want to send, be very clear in your words and also your actions following the break up.

4. Do not separate yourself.

Include your friends and family. Talk to them about how you are feeling, especially if you begin to feel depressed or it has become a hurdle to your work or study life.

5. Do not rebound with your ex partner's best friend!

If you want to continue a healthy friendship with your ex partner in the future, do not start dating their best friend straight after you have broken up. It is just not the done thing!

6. Let good be your focal point.

Even though the relationship has ended, there were good times that both of you enjoyed. If you only focus on the bad times, you can become bitter and angry at either yourself or the other person. Don't hold onto anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and will prevent you from moving on.

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Review: What Predicts a Good Response to Coronary Revascularization?

By Pasquale Jacobs

QUESTION: is nuclear myocardial perfusion scintigraphy useful in predicting an increase in exercise capacity after coronary artery revascularization using percutaneous coronary intervention (PCI)?

BACKGROUND: The Courage Trial found a lack of survival benefit to percutaneous coronary intervention as compared to optimum medical therapy alone. However, in some patient subgroups, PCI was shown to have important quality of life benefits. Thus, there continues to remain doubt over who should undergo PCI. It is important to note that PCI is not without risks. PCI in the past has been shown to have a risk of morbidity of about 0.25% and risk of mortality of about 0.20%.

STUDY OBJECTIVE: Is stress-rest myocardial perfusion scintigraphy (MPS) beneficial in predicting who will show an increased exercise capacity after PCI? Can MPS testing help predict which patient groups will have the greatest decrease in symptoms after PCI?

PATIENTS: Patients were mostly male (86%) and most (63%) but not all (37%) had stable angina. Patients were recruited prospectively from the a group of patients that had a positive diagnostic angiogram and were already scheduled to undergo an elective PCI procedure.

METHODS: Within one month before having their PCI procedure, patients in the study underwent stress-rest myocardial perfusion scintigraphy using a same day, single-isotope protocol using Tc-99m tetrofosmin. Treadmill exercise was utilized for the stress test as much as possible. The patient's New York Heart Association functional status was assessed, and all patients answered the Seattle Angina Questionnaire. The cardiologists that performed the PCI procedures were blinded as to the outcome of the stress-rest perfusion scan. None of the PCI procedures were canceled due to the results of the perfusion scan.

At the 6 month follow-up visit after their PCI procedure, patients were once again evaluated for symptoms and functional status. A repeat treadmill test using the same protocol was performed in those patients that underwent treadmill stress ECG testing at baseline. Clinicians who performed this follow-up stress test were unaware of the results of the baseline test.

Scan results were analyzed quantitatively by the Cedars-Sinai AutoSPECT and AutoQuant software programs. A visually assessed semiquantitative analysis was also performed using summed scoring with a 17 segment 5-point scale. A consensus of two readers was utilized for statistical purposes.

RESULTS: There were 123 patients included in the study population. The treadmill exercise stress test was positive for evidence of inducible myocardial ischemia in 72%. The myocardial perfusion scan showed inducible hypoperfusion affecting greater than 10% of the myocardium in 20% of patients. The perfusion scan showed inducible hypoperfusion of 1% to 10% of the myocardium in 54% of the patients. The remaining 26% of patients had no reversible defects on perfusion scintigraphy.

At the 6 month follow-up visit, overall the average Seattle Angina Questionnaire score for all patients improved from 66 to 75 (P value less than 0.0001). The mean exercise capacity across all patients also improved, going from 7 up to 9 METS on average (P value less than 0.0001). However, the New York Heart Association functional class remained unchanged in 62%, it improved in 33%, and worsened in 5%.

The multivariate independent predictors of improvement were male gender, limiting chest pain on baseline treadmill stress testing, and the summed defect score.

CONCLUSION: Of all patients undergoing elective PCI in this study, only a small minority had a reversible myocardial perfusion defect affecting 10% or more of the myocardium. Independent predictors of improvement after revascularization were male sex, limiting chest pain on exercise stress testing, and inducible hypoperfusion on myocardial perfusion scintigraphy.

ARTICLE: Does myocardial perfusion scintigraphy predict improvement in symptoms and exercise capacity following successful elective percutaneous coronary intervention? Al-Housni MB, Hutchings F, Dalby M, Dubowitz M, Grocott-Mason R, Ilsley CD, Mason M, Mitchell AG, Kelion AD.J Nucl Cardiol. 2009 Jul 9. [Epub ahead of print]. From the Department of Cardiology, Royal Brompton and Harefield NHS Foundation Trust, Harefield Hospital, Harefield, Middlesex, United Kingdom.
Pubmed.

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Don't Be Afraid Of Online Dating Services!

By Ferda Shinsky

Its hard to admit but I chatting to girls I don't know is hard for me. I don't like the bar scene and talking to people I don't know is tough. For a long time I thought I will never meet a special girl until I decided to give online dating a go.

I had to screw my courage to the sticking spot, and once I did I did a little research on the many sites available to pick the best one for me. The options were enormous. Just typing in a single UK in a dating site brought back thousands of hits. Each one was a possible way to meet my match.

The beauty of using one of these sites is that you can be yourself. Pick one which best fits your needs. I'd suggest a local dating site, because it doesn't help your cause if you find Ms. Right and she is 1,000 miles away! Be careful, though, not to reveal too much information, especially personal information like your place of work or address.

Of course, you have to mention all of what you are looking for in a person, the things you like and dislike, but the important thing is to get a comfort level of revealing your good side. You don't have to go into depth initially, but you do have to write about things you like to do, places you like to go and so forth.

It can be a big mistake to make yourself out to be perfect in ever way, that can scare perfectly great matches off. You will get to meet your match eventually and you donat want them to be expecting something your not or you both may be disappointed.

Don 't get attached too fast, one of the best things about online dating is that you can get to know lots of people without making a commitment. Talk to people and get to know them you can interact in a fun and stress free environment. I found it much easier to talk to girls without the face to face aspect and it eventually even made that easier as I knew the girls first.

You may hear bad things about online dating but the majority find it easy and stress free. You can be free to reveal more about who you really are over email than in some loud bar or pub. Be honest but be sure not to dwell on your faults everyone has good and bad qualities.

If you do your research, be yourself and go slow you are sure to find a site and person who is right for you. You never know you could meet your soul mate and end up in a wonderful relationship. Even if you donat its better than sitting at a bar trying to talk to people you have nothing in common with or being home alone.

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Christian Marriage Counselling

By Frank Fortuna

Lots of Christians pray that faith will steer them off the jagged rocks of modern marriage.

But for many Christian couples, hope is not enough. Divorce is just as frequent for Christians as it is for non-Christians. And the same problems threaten Christian marriages until divorce seems to be the only possible way out.

But it's not in God's plan for divorce to be the inevitable result for troubled marriages. If your marriage is going under for the thrid time, you can use Christian marriage counseling to help you return to God--and to each other--and fix your battered relationship.

Is Your Marriage In Trouble?

There are lots of ways to tell you need Christian marriage counseling.

* A partner feels under-appreciated

* Frequent bickering

* One spouse flirts with other people too much

* One partner works all the time.

And there are other--less common, but more worrying--signs

* Abuse--physical or sexual

* Infidelity

* Substance abuse.

If you and your partner cannot talk without fighting, or discover that you don't enjoy spending time together, it may be time for Christian marriage counseling.

Why Lots Of Couples Have Problems

Living with one person every day, produces a whole lot of stress. So, it's no surprise that many couples try Christian marriage counseling for relief.

In many cases, each spouse focuses on the partner's shortcomings. They ignore their contribution to the problems. This is when they start playing the destructive blame game. And both partners become defensive and resentful.

Eventually, the relationship slams into a brick wall... and no amount of insulting or blaming or pleading or fighting will get the couple past it. This is the stage when the couple needs Christian marriage counseling to get around the roadblock... and get their marriage moving in the right direction.

You Can Find The Help You Need

Often we hear lots of gloomy stories about skyrocketing divorce statistics. And keeping a strong, Christian marriage intact in the 21st Century seems almost impossible. But, you must have faith! You can do it.

Especially if you seek out professional, experienced, Christian marriage counseling.

These professionals offer an objective perspective of your relationship, and can help you repair it. With the support of Christian marriage counseling, you can decide whether your relationship is worth saving, and learn how to do that in accordance with God's Word.

Marriage is tough, but you can benefit from Christian marriage counseling. Through God's Word and an experienced Christian counselor, you and your spouse can get back on track to a loving, fulfilling, satisfying marriage. And that's just what God has in mind for you... and what you deserve.

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How To Find Top Divorce Lawyers

By Lynn Lopez

Divorces can be messy. If you have decided after careful deliberation that divorce is the best solution to your relationship problem, then look for a good lawyer. Pronto. You will need a lawyer to file your divorce papers on your behalf. Divorce law requires expertise. If you can afford it, go find yourself a top-notch, high-quality divorce lawyer.

Finding top divorce lawyers should not be difficult. They are well-known. Use the power of word-of-mouth to find them. Regrettably, top divorce lawyers come with a hefty price tag. It is their divorce law expertise that you will be paying for. After all, divorce is not merely two persons agreeing to separate. It entails determining how your properties will be divided. Add to that such matters as child support, custody, and visitation. Maybe you will get lucky and find lawyers who will offer a first consultation for free.

Top divorce lawyers share some common characteristics. For starters, they are in it to win. They will advocate well on your behalf. They are usually good communicators; they write and speak clearly and concisely. They can tell you in a minute what value they can bring to you and your case. Regardless of how busy they are, they must make time for the clients. They must plan and strategize on how best to approach your case before jumping in. In fact, you can usually ask them on how they plan to approach your case. The best lawyers will tell you, without you even asking. They are perfectionists who will try to avoid mistakes, even low-impact mistakes, which might cost you heavily.

Top divorce lawyers are always looking for cases that will test and challenge their abilities and skills. They may seem like they are a force to reckon with, and should be taken seriously. Do not be intimidated because this may be very important for your case. It pays to have top divorce lawyers who know that they are good at what they do. They are there for you, not to do you a favor, but to win your case on your behalf. They will ask you for your feedback. Do not hesitate to give it to them. Get information when you do not understand what's going on. Your divorce lawyer must be willing to work with you.

Remember, you have to trust what they are saying. If you find yourself being doubtful or suspicious, ask questions and then some. A good divorce lawyer will represent you - they must be able to tell your side of the story as accurately as possible.

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How To Be Irresistible To Men Review - How It Works

By Samantha Sanderson

Is ugliness something that you feel? You probably think that men aren't attracted to you because you are not beautiful. For people who have run into such emotions such as these this course i.e. "How to be irresistible to men" will definitely help you overcome your difficulty and attract the men you really want in your life.

Many people are already thinking what this special course can do for them when it comes to getting into and retaining a good healthy relationship. Here is a short list of what you can except from this book:

1.The first part of this book covers the three initial stages of seduction. Learn how to use the mystical power of seduction in order to attract the person you want.

2.The second part covers the difference between love, romance and attraction. You will be taught the fundamental secrets which you will need in order to find true love in your relationship.

3.Part three will consist of understanding the true potential of going out and how to look for the correct man.

4.Part four covers everything you will need to know about getting the man you want. You will learn the power of attraction.

5.In part five you will understand how to accept being yourself and learning to find love even after you have gone though a tough period.

6.You will later learn in part six the various techniques you can use to change the course of your life.

Apart from the above mentioned things you will learn many more things that will help you find the relationship you need. This is a great course for any woman who wants to take control of their life. You no longer have to settle for second best in your life anymore.

What I like about this course is that you are offered a money return guarantee if it doesn't have any effect. There have been a number of people who have discovered this course life changing. At first I personally felt that this was nothing more than a scam but later after going though the course I had to change my perception. A woman originally recommended this course to me after she found love and success in her life.

Wedding Venues in Essex

By Helen Braithwaite

When planning a wedding venue in Essex, one word you may want to learn is patience. It will be something that you may need to use. See this location in the United Kingdom is well loved for some of the best wedding plans out there.

Make sure that whatever venue you choose you know their rules. A rule you may run into is that you will not be able to throw confetti. Not a hard rule to abide by, but one that you will need to ensure, simply give those guests another item they can throw after the wedding is over. Just make sure you check to see if it's allowed too.

Some rules will need to be followed when you hold a wedding at these venues, so please ensure that your guests are aware of them. The patience you may need is due to the dates that are well reserved in advance. Meaning you may not get that wedding date you first choose if you want to hold your wedding venue in Essex.

If you don't want to have the pressure of figuring which location, flowers, and all that other stuff. Hire a wedding consultant to help you out. It's a great way in which you can get the plans all done, without worrying much about it yourself.

A great way to have a bit of breathing room in the planning is to think of a winter wedding. Not only do these wedding venues in Essex offer special prices during that time, but maybe they won't be near as booked up. And that money you save can be used in many other ways for your new life as husband and wife.

A unique way of having your wedding vows held, check out a wedding venue Essex. The setting is one that will truly have you feeling as if you are in heaven.

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Wedding Planning On A Budget: How To Spend Less On Your Wedding

By Dee Bovis

Let's just face it. Wedding planning on a budget is the reality for most of us. Unless you're lucky enough to be marrying royalty, a celebrity, or just some super rich businessperson, you'll be doing your wedding planning on a budget. That said, wedding planning on a budget is not impossible and can even help you keep a clear perspective about the things that are truly important on your long-awaited wedding day.

As a general rule, most couples spend about half their wedding budget on costs associated with the wedding ceremony and the other half on costs associated with the reception. This simple guideline will help you keep an eye out on the distribution of your finances and how to keep your wedding planning on a budget that works for you and your fianc.

In order to keep your wedding planning on a budget, you can make some simple changes that will save big bucks. One great option to lower your wedding expenses is to create a mp3 mix of songs for your reception (or even bring your laptop full of music). This will help you avoid costly fees for a DJ or band. If you absolutely must book a band for your reception, you may be able to book them for a shorter period of time if you have an mp3 mix to play so the party can continue without blowing your wedding budget out of the water.

Another great option is to avoid paying the cost of a full open bar and perhaps just offer one trademark drink along with the champagne for toasts. You can also similarly save money on the wedding cake and keep your wedding planning on a budget by ordering a smaller decorative wedding cake and provide matching cupcakes for your guests without the intricate (read: expensive) decoration of a traditional wedding cake.

You can also find creative alternatives for centerpieces instead of expensive floral arrangements. By looking for beautiful yet inexpensive centerpiece ideas, you can further keep your wedding planning costs down.

Don't forget that another effective way to cut expenses from your wedding is shopping for items without the "wedding" tag. All products in the wedding departments of stores are marked up outrageously. You may often be able to find similar products in other departments that are simply white but not advertised for weddings.

All of these tips can help you keep your wedding planning on a budget while making your wedding beautiful and enjoyable.

Does My Ex Want Me Back? Common Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

By Mikey Aul

It is totally normal post break up to wonder "Does my ex want me back." There may still be some feelings on either side that may indicate that maybe the relationship really is not over. If you find your self making up reasons to see your ex or making excuses to talk to your ex then there may be something left there.

Some of the common signs that your ex wants you back do include more phone calls than usual, an increase in texting and even e mails. If you two still see each other socially you might notice flirting or intentional subtle touching. These all may be signs that your ex wants you back but you need to keep in mind that if you just go back full blown at this point it might just push them back to where you started at the beginning of the break up. Your best bet in situations like this is to chill out and play it cool. Don't be totally cold but don't totally give in either.

You are going to miss your ex no matter what happened between you two. This is especially true if you have been together for a long time. It is understandable that when you are hurt and feeling down you are going to want to turn to the person that means the most to you. Very often, this will be your ex and it will be you for them. Either one of you may just be remembering the good times you had together and maybe missing it a little more then normal.

The other side to an ex showing interest after a break up in a little darker. This side may only be a game on their part. They may be quite aware that you are still in love and know that they can take advantage of it. Depending on how the break up went this may also be a chance for them to get you back for something they think that you did wrong. This the very reason you need to keep cool during this situation and make sure you are getting all the facts before you fall again. If you want to know "Does my ex want me back" then you need to be able to recognize the signs that they are just messing with you.

This is common, and a lot of people find themselves wondering "Does my ex want me back?", but the truth is, its better to get a feel for the situation before you act. In reality, if your ex does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best scenario because it will prevent you from getting hurt if your ex is not really serious about getting back with you.

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Review: David Wygant Date To Win

By Maurice Jackson

Date To Win by David Wygant is designed for guys who do not like using routines or scripted lines.

What really makes Date to Win stand out from the other dating books is the fact that David teaches you how to become more a natural. If you want to be original and not used canned lines, then this book will show you how.

The book is comprised of 6 parts:

* Section 1: self assessment of yourself * Section 2: learning how to get real * Section 3: looking for romantic opportunities everywhere * Section 4: Getting women to approach you! * Section 5: how to interact with women. * Section 6: Creating goals

The guide will show you how be become more of an interesting character by understanding yourself first. This may sound awkward, because most guys think that to pickup women you need to be smooth and have great lines. You will notice that later on, it is what you convey to her that counts and not really want you say.

You will also learn how to get a persona that all the natural guys have because you'll be more authentic. You'll learn how to get girls without trying and you won't really even need to approach women.

That's probably the best thing I liked about the book was the fact that you'll become a "natural" around women! You won't even need to care about pickup lines as women will just approach you!

If you ever wanted to learn more about how to be the guy who just gets girls, then maybe you should check out if Date To Win by David Wygant is for you.

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Satellite TV Facts

By Ron Goodman

People using satellite TV have a different experience than those that are using cable or terrestrial services. With satellite TV, you receive a much bigger array of services and channels, along with some channels that can be gained through subscription only.

As early as 1962, Telstar satellite was successful in sending a relay satellite television signal from Europe to North America. A year later, Syncom 2, which was a geosynchronous communication satellite - made its debut around the world. Two years after that, the Early Bird - the first synchronous orbiting satellite - made its premiere. In 1967, the Soviet Union formed Orbita, an elliptical Molniya satellite that redelivered signals to downlink stations on the ground. Ekran " the first Russian geostationary satellite " carried Direct-To-Home TV in 1976.

There are three broadcast standards commonly used today: PAL, SECAM, and NTSC. They allow the distribution of analog television through a satellite. What they do is they alter the frequency of the FM signal to baseband, which gives us the audio sub-carrier and video signal. QPSK is the name of this digitized signal.

The types of digital TV, including satellite transmitted ones, are mostly based on MPEG and DVB-S open standards. Methods that are used to encrypt include BISS, Digicipher, Conax, Nagravision, Irdeto, Viaccess, PowerVu, Videocypher, and VideoGuard.

The three basic types of satellite tv are: reception through one of the local cables, services provided by the local TV affiliates, and direct reception by the viewer. Direct broadcast satellite - DBS, and television receive only - TVRO, are included in the last one.

If you think that you would prefer a television service with the greatest clarity and resolution, you might wish to go with satellite TV instead of analog television. Whereas analog uses outdated C-band analog cables, satellite TV uses Ku band signals.

With satellite TV, you are guaranteed broad coverage and a stronger reception. This is the kind of TV for anyone who lives in a rural area, or any other place where cable TV is restricted. Additionally, the number of options that are available to you through satellite TV includes more types of subscription opportunities. Opting for this type of service will ultimately give you the greatest variety of programming options.

Dating In A Small Town

By Rachel Welch

Laws for Dating in a Small town Dating in a little town can be tricky but it is not impossible. Many eligible bachelors reside in small cities across the country. Remember that unlike in the city, dating in a tiny town will need a little bit of difficult work to get a potential date.

Integrating into a Little city Community remember that little cities often have an exclusive environment whereby gaining the trust of local residents plays a massive factor. Folks who live in little cities are generally scared of outsiders. A good method to get together and meet plenty of the people next door is to get into the good books of the rustic community. The perfect places to meet and greet small town folk are the superstore, the local church and the general public library.

Favored small City Hangouts to go to Going round the community is a good method to get familiar with the people in a little city. Making friendships with sundry folk in the area helps build connections in the local group that would finally lead to the chance of finding a date in a little city. There are a few places around tiny towns that are typical hangouts of the local voters.

Local Superstore The resident superstore is the best place to meet and greet the bulk of the members of the area community. Everybody in the neighborhood shops there and the chance of finding a potential date along the aisles is likely. It also helps to be pleasant with the greengrocer in case he knows some eligible local electorate who are also interested by dating in a small town.

Community Church The local Church is another local place to meet and greet with neighbors. Many folks in tiny cities sometimes take church activities quite seriously and attending Sunday mass is a good way to gain their trust. It's also the best place to survey the group to figure out who's who.

It also saves one the humiliation of trying to hook up with someone in the neighborhood who is married. Remember that gossip spreads fast in tiny towns and asking a married person out on a date is the swiftest technique to get blacklisted from dating in a tiny town. The public Library the general public library is a great spot to encounter many engaging neighbors domestically. The majority of the time, single folks in tiny cities frequent the general public library or local bookstores as an easy going pursuit. Though the tenet of visiting the general public library may not appear like a fun location for dating in a tiny city. It's also a smart idea to join committees that organize many activities in this area.

This is a technique to show one's concern for the community as well as meet other local residents who just happen to be single and continually help out. Without reference to the many challenges of dating in a tiny town can bring it's still a worthwhile experience to take up. Remember that meeting folk provides sundry opportunities that would at some point soon turn out well in the long term.

Saving Your Relationship And Avoiding A Break Up

By Anne Torres

First, you have to know what you are NOT supposed to do: Don't Plead - However much you feel like beaten up pulp inside, you have to project confidence and strength. Pleading will make you very unattractive and very hard to answer to. How do you expect your ex to answer or return your calls when this is what you are saying to them: "Oh honey please! Please answer your phone or call me back. I've been calling you for 3 days now. I'm so worried." Get my point?

Don't fake an urgent situation - This can get you some results but trust me, it's not the results you want to get. Don't go all grave on the phone and fake an emergency like "I just found out I had cancer yesterday" or "Honey! Our dog just broke his leg. Can you meet me at the vet?" Your ex is not going to like it when they discover the truth.

Don't Spam - Miss calling or sending SMS every 10 seconds is not going to perk up the situation. You'll be labeled a frantic creep in no time.

What you SHOULD be doing instead: Interest and curiosity. Just like restarting a dead fire, you want to spark the interest back up again and you do this by generating a degree of curiosity. A simple effective way to do this over the answering machine / SMS / IM is by using this script:

"Hi Brad. It's me, Joliet. I just wanted to let you know that I am glad about what you did for me. Call me sometime." Do you see how curiosity comes into play there? The message is laid-back and does not project fear yet it is very intriguing. Brad must be wondering what it is that he did for Joliet. Joliet will be regularly in his thoughts until he can't resist the urge to find out by calling her.

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How To Stay Motivated When Losing Arm Fat

By Katherine Crawford M.S.

So many women focus on finding the perfect arm workout, the perfect supplement or the perfect diet. And many times, said women actually burn out before even getting started because they are trying to find that perfect solution.

Well, there is no absolute best program. Absolutes do not exist in our universe. And even if said program did exist. Do you have the mental endurance to stick with it no matter what?

I would bet money that many women wouldn't be able to. Why? Because staying motivated for long periods of time (sticking with it) is NOT easy. Especially, if you have no mental game plan in place.

What can you do? Well, there are many ways you can optimize your mental framework to ensure arm fat success. In this article, however, I am going to cover 4 quick tips to help you sustain motivation:

1. Always look at the reward of taking action, not the punishment of not taking action. In other words, tell yourself "I want to exercise today so that I can wear my sleeveless dress tomorrow." Do NOT tell yourself "I must exercise today or I'll be a slob." The slight change in wording and visualization will make a huge difference in the long run.

2. Use a scientific attitude when you fail. What's the first thing you do when you mess up? You get emotional! Even worse, some women internalize the situation and put all the blame on themselves. The end result? A sense of low self efficacy and reduced willpower to move forward. If you mess up, analyze the situation, the EXTERNAL factors that led to the malfunction. Never label or blame yourself.

3. Understand that action comes before motivation. There will be days when you feel like doing absolutely nothing. Losing that arm fat will seem like an insurmountable goal that's impossible to achieve. On such days, start MOVING regardless. Once you begin going through the motions, the motivation will come back. I promise.

4. Never get angry when being criticized by a naysayer. Always deconstruct the criticism. Most criticisms are based upon inaccurate assumptions. If you tease apart the criticism, and define the fine points of contention, most often than not both parties will notice that there really is no issue.

Learning how to optimize your thought processes takes time. It doesn't happen overnight, and there will be times when these strategies don't work. But you can never give up. In the worst case scenario, try to minimize the damage and get right back on track to losing that arm fat!

Wedding Planning Checklist

By Laura Quintile

Here is an easy to follow checklist for planning your wedding. Use it as a guideline to inspire you, and to keep you focused. Add your own personality to your checklist. Print it out and check off the items as you accomplish them.

LEGAL ITEMS:

Marriage License Change Will Change beneficiary for life insurance and any financial papers

Name Change

CLOTHING ITEMS:

Select a Wedding Gown Pick out your honeymoon clothing Select Brides Maids and Maid of Honor Dresses Select Groom's Tux, and all the guys' tuxes in the wedding party

CEREMONY AND RECEPTION:

Select the location for the ceremony and the reception Verify the address of the reception hall Select the rings Pick who will be in your Wedding Party (brides maids/maid of honor etc.) Choose who will be your officiate (who will marry you) Create your guest list Select your invitations Fill out and mail your invitations Chose your caterer Pick: cake, beverages, party favors Flower selection for ceremony and reception and wedding attendants and bride Select music for ceremony and reception Select or write Vows Pick a photographer Decide on transportation for bride and groom getting to and leaving ceremony and reception Decide on transportation for wedding attendants and any out of town guests without cars. Video

MISC ITEMS:

Sign up for Gift Registries Arrange Honeymoon Rehearsal Dinner Purchase Thank You Notes Bridal Shower Bachelorette Party Bachelor Party Purchase Gifts for attendants Decide where you will live and make any address changes (post office, at work, on financial forms) Make arrangements for pets/mail/plants etc for while you are away on your honeymoon

GUESTS:

Coordinate Transportation for out of town guests Arrange for hotel rooms Put together seating arrangements

POST CEREMONY:

Send out Wedding Announcements to Newspapers Write and Mail out Thank You Notes

Here are some Websites that may help you plan your wedding.

http://www.bargainweddinggowns.com/

This site contains bridal lingerie, evening and prom gowns, jewelry, shoes, bridesmaids gowns, headpieces, plus size wedding gowns, wedding invitations, candy bar wraps, cake and other wedding links besides of course budget wedding gowns.

http://www.theknot.com/

This is the site for all your wedding needs including: wedding planning, getting engaged, real weddings, wedding fashion, bridal beauty, grooms, the wedding party, honeymoons, the nest.

http://www.bridecouture.com/

Is a beautiful site. There is a Gown Catalog and a Accessories Catalog. There are top designer wedding gowns for 50 - 75 % off.

http://www.weddinggownsearch.com/

This is a Bridal Shop Directory. You can search for local bridal shops using the search engine on their site by state and by county. You can also find Canadian Bridal Shops. You will also find Resource Links at the top of the page. Under Products and Services you will find Local Vendors, National Vendors, Books and Magazines, Top Wedding Sites. At the bottom of the site you will find an extensive list of Wedding Gown Designers.

http://www.brides.com/

This is a very comprehensive site with tons of tools for planning your wedding. You will find fashion, beauty, wedding style, planning, travel, local resources, body makeover, engagement guide, bets tools for planning your wedding, and talk to other brides.

http://www.topweddingsites.com/index.html

This site is a huge directory of everything wedding. This is everything you will links to:

Accessories, Accommodations, Bachelor and Bachelorette, Beauty and Cosmetics, Book and Publications, Bridal Showers, Bridal Wear, Bridal Shows, Cakes and Bakers, Catering and food, Ceremony, Clergy and Officiates, Consultants and Coordinators, Directories and Guides, Wedding Decorations, Wedding Destinations, Wedding Etiquette, Wedding Favors.

Planning your wedding can be exciting and it can be stressful. To help make the planning easier on you, this wedding planning guide can be used to help you stay organized. The wedding sites listed are great resources and can help you plan your wedding.

Getting Over An Affair: A Guide To Getting You Through The Pain

By DeAnn Norton

Getting over an affair is hard work no matter how you handle it. Your lover has broken your trust and shattered your relationship.

You may feel like something is wrong with you, but nothing could be further from the truth. No one deserves to be cheated on because it is the coward's way out of a relationship. How do you move on and get on with your life after an affair?

Your first big choice may well be whether you stay with your partner or not. This is a personal decision that many people have to make. Perhaps you are more comfortable staying with him or her.

There is always the chance that you can work things out and get past all of your issues as a couple. Some couples survive and thrive, falling more in love after an affair.

Second, you have to think about the causes of the cheating. Were there other issues within your relationship that were being ignored and not worked on? Not spending time together or not being intimate is often a sign that something is amiss.

Maybe the communication in your relationship had broken down. Whatever the reason, you have to make certain that your issues are resolved before getting back with your partner and making the same mistakes again.

Finally, getting over an affair takes a series of steps. You must set goals for yourself and work to achieve them. This allows you to keep from sinking into depression.

If you have decided to move on with your life and leave your cheating partner behind, then you still want to make a set of plans on where your life is heading. Create a goal list and decide what you want for your career, love life and even your health. Making new plans will help you see a bright future ahead.

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Get Your Message Accross As It Is Intended With Neural Linguistic Programming

By Ferdinand Emy

Even the greatest orator, penr or presenter may find it challenging to convey their message across to their audience the way they intended it to be. Its not that they aren't good at what they do or did not communicate the right words; either in speech or writing, to their listeners or readers. Its just that a good number of times individuals dont understand the right meaning of your spoken or written words the way its meant to be and end up having the opposite perception of your communication.

Now this isn't a deliberate act.-they are genuine misunderstanding. Why does this happen? You may get the answer if you study Neural Linguistic Programming or better known as NLP techniques. This study tells us why a good number of thoughts do not pass the correct or supposed meaning from the transmitter to the receiver.

Neural Linguistic Programming was developed in the early 1970s when psychologist and a linguist came together to study the nervous system and how a human brain operates after receiving data from the sensory organ and how does it convert it to thoughts and behavior. This entire procedure is named NLP.

Neural Linguistic Programming tells us how various individuals have various ways of interpreting the same info, image, words, etc. For example X is petrified of spiders as he got bit by a spider when he was young. So the moment he sees a spider, he senses fear. On the other hand Y loves spiders and even has it as his pet. He certainly adores it.

Now both X and Y are looking at the same spider but X is frightened and Y is thrilled. This is because their brain has transmitted the feeling of fear and excitement respectively. The processing of the information received by our sensory organs heavily depends on our experiences, value systems, opinions, biases, etc. So the thought process completely converts due to these factors from one person to another and Hence people have diverse ways of reacting or behaving when they see, hear or read the same image, info or content.

So even if a group of individuals have similar education, training, background and experience, they may still have varied behavioral patterns depending on how their brain perceives the data from the sensory organs, converts in to thinking patterns which lastly outcomes to a behavior.

If you undergo Neural Linguistic Programming training you will be in a excellent position to know how individuals will react to your thoughts or words or content just by observing them closely. This way you may build an excellent rapport with your audience which will eventually verify your success.

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To Win Back an Ex Stay Clear of This Critical Error

By Paul Lindquist

Can you relate to this? You are attempting to win back an ex, but all your efforts have been futile? Everything you have set out to do has seemed to backfire, and now all you can feel is frustration.

The hard thing about setting out to win back an ex is often times just one major factor-during your separation with a person you love and still really want to have in your life, that person you love is holding all the cards. This makes it doubly difficult to think clearly and take the correct actions to win back an ex.

Ponder this for a moment. If the one you still love knows that they hold all the leverage between the two of you, they might use that leverage to get all they can from you-manipulating you into doing the craziest of things to make them happy. If you have experience with this, you know that making them happy becomes an impossible target to hit, cause they always want more!

Now, to win back an ex, you need to reverse the balance of power into your favor. In order to pull this off, you need to start by playing it cool with your ex. Move your intense need to get back with them to the back of your mind, and display an external posture of being confident and cool with whatever the outcome.

Direct your mind toward things other than your ex-like getting together with old friends, getting to the gym to lose weight, or maybe some charity work. Make yourself busy with different stuff so your mind will not be on your ex. When your ex calls you, be nice to them, but also communicate to them that you have other things going on in your life.

A word of caution here. This will not be easy to do. The temptation is to continually do things for your ex in an effort to "be there for them",thinking this will lead to reconciliation. The problem is that this tactic rarely works in trying to win back an ex. The usual result is that your ex either gets tired of you being around all the time, or starts to exploit the situation by using you. Either way, it's a bad result for you, so avoid this pitfall!

If you stick to the plan I outlined and exercise discipline, the balance of power in your relationship will be altered fairly rapidly. Your ex will become the pursuer and you will be holding all the cards. This will give you a much better chance to win back an ex.

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How to Survive the Four Stages of Breaking Up

By Lynn Huber

Love is said to be the most fantastic thing here on earth. It really makes our lives more meaningful. In addition, loving and being loved in return or merely being in a relationship is the most terrific experience that we can go through. Yet, a euphoric and bright relationship may turn into darkness once it reaches the end of the line which is ordinarily referred to as breaking up.

This is the time when we feel so terrible because of the aches and anguishes that we feel deep within our hearts. As a matter of fact, there are certain degrees of breaking up which we are going to run into whether we like it or not. Here are some of the most common stages of breaking up:

1st stage: The first stage pertaining to break ups is the feeling of shock. This is actually our initial response once we find out that our relationship is about to end. This feeling is just pretty normal because no one knows when, where, and how a certain break up will happen.

2nd stage: Declining to believe that our relationship has now had to end is the second stage which we will find in a break up experience. If we haven't been stunned with the news of breaking up then maybe, we are just in denial that something is wrong with our present relationship. We try to make ourselves consider that any cracks in our relationship are just cracks that can still be solved; when in fact such cracks are hard to fix and toughest of all, cannot be fixed anymore.

3rd stage: The third stage is depression. Being depressed after the break up is just a normal feeling. After all, no one is going to be pleased in news about breaking up. However, we only have to bear in mind not to think overly about what happened because it won't do us any good at all.

4th stage: The last stage that we are going to encounter in a break up experience is acceptance. Sometimes, the very safest way to deal with a break up is to accept the fact that our relationship was never meant to last. We just have to be happy that we have experienced the magic of love even in a scant while with someone whom we really loved. At this stage, you realise that it is over and you in all probability will be willing to meet some new people to potentially date.

Relationship Advice About Conflict

By Johnnie S Laney

There are many useful things to understand about conflict. A first one is that conflict is going to happen in any love relationship. There are some good ways to deal with conflict and a lot of bad ways.

There are many unhealthy ways to deal with conflict. Attacking your mate is obviously one of the bad ways. You can attack your partner verbally or non-verbally. Shouting or screaming, mocking them or treating them with disdain are some of the biggest relationship killers.

There are a few things you can do that are healthy when conflict arises. One of the first things you can do is take a breath. Breathe. This will help you to notice that we all often revert to the emotional age of 7 year old's during conflict.

While breathing, also see if you can notice that conflict causes crappy behavior. Crying, screaming, withdrawing, insulting each other. But the crappy conduct only last a few minutes in most cases. See if you can stop taking it so personally.

Another useful thing to do is aim to de-escalate the conflict. Keep it from getting more heated and angry when possible. Sometimes you need to say I need a few minutes to get myself under control, then walk away. Withdraw for ten minutes or so. Don't withdraw for hours or days, as shutting your partner out has been shown by researchers to cause great damage to a relationship.

Research has shown that another important thing to do with conflict is not to withdraw affection. If you argue, don't then withhold affection for a day or two as a way to punish your partner. This creates lasting damage.

Next, try to reconnect with your mate after the argument. Don't wait days to talk civilly to them again. Once things have cooled down, even if you don't think it was your fault, reconnect. Say "sorry we fought, are you okay?" Do not let the anger between you linger.

Dealing well with conflict takes practice and time to learn. But it is well worth it. You're going to argue, the question is can you do so in a way that doesn't kill off your relationship over time.

Important Tips and Information about Sending Flowers to Moscow

By Kenneth Elliott

Online floral delivery services have made it a very easy thing to send flowers for that special person in Moscow! But this was not always the case. There was a time during the cold war that if you were not part of the elite class it would have been impossible to send flowers anywhere. This was either inside or outside the country. It would have been far easier to deliver a bouquet in person, provided of course that as a foreigner you were allowed into the country in the first place! With such poor service there was a possibility of hand delivered flowers going to the wrong address or being delivered at the wrong time or not at all.

Now all you have to do is go to the website of your preferred international-delivery florist, choose the flower(s) and or bouquet(s) of your choice, click on a few options and hey presto, your message of love, peace, goodwill, thanks, rectitude or whatever will be delivered to a (hopefully) grateful and surprised recipient.

Now to the small print:

Delivery inside Moscow city limits would be charged as per list price, however anything beyond would entail additional charges which can be quite hefty if the place is even somewhat remote.

An advance online order would mean your credit / debit card would be charged immediately, much before the actual delivery; so a 2 day advance booking would be more prudent.

Additional services, like verifying recipient's address and / or phone details prior to the actual delivery involve extra costs.

Requests for "surprise" deliveries are not advisable as it may require repeat visits or special activity, thereby incurring further charges. Normally a call is made prior to the delivery to ensure the recipient will be available. Flowers and gifts like cakes are perishable items and need to be delivered within the shortest possible time.

Most florists deliver during "normal" business hours, which is usually between 900 hours to 1900 hours, though this can be stretched either way if required.

Additional services like a special note or a gift not listed or available with that particular florist but available locally, can also be arranged for.

Delivery confirmation is usually provided within 24 hours in a place like Moscow.

It is normal in Russia to send odd number flowers except in the case of sympathy or funeral messages. This is followed more strictly whenever a single flower arrangement is being sent, less so in a mixed flower bouquet. The main holidays when flowers are exchanged in Moscow are Valentine's Day (February 14th), Women's / Mother's Day (March 8th) and of course Christmas (both Catholic and Orthodox) as well as the New Year.

There is not much difference in the meaning of the color or type of flower(s) that are being sent with the message for a Muscovite from that accepted universally; so roses denote love, lilies sympathy and a multicolor arrangement to wish someone a speedy recovery. There are a number of international as well as local online as well as offline florists who will gladly provide their services at an appropriate price! Sendflowers.ru and Cityflora.com would be happy to deliver a bunch of feelings to that special someone in Moscow!

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Infidelity, All Pain And No Gain

By Johnny Simmona

Many marriages break up over the pain of emotional infidelity. Love and trust that was promised is taken away. The result of infidelity is both pain as well as hurt.

To find some of the sources of that pain, here is a case study of Sue A. And Joe R. As they work through Joe's infidelity.

Sue was the kid next door when Joe was growing up. During hi senior year, they began dating and in his junior year in college, Joe proposed. They have three children, a girl and two boys.

Money was sometimes tight as the kids began to grow older so Joe started working late at the office to make ends meet. A few months later Sue noticed that money was just as tight or tighter even though Joe was working very late almost every night. When she mentioned this to Joe, a big fight followed and Joe left.

A week later, he called Sue to try to make amends. During their conversation, he tells Sue that he has been unfaithful and has committed a infidelity affair. Both partners are willing to try counseling to see if things can be made better.

Sue was heartbroken and unsure that she would ever be able to forgive Joe. The person she had known for most of her life was not the man she thought he had been. She had trusted with her deepest secrets had betrayed her and she was deeply hurt.

We all love stories to end happily, however this one may end that way. These deep hurts do not go away overnight. Divorce often follows such mistrust.

Any time in the future, that Joe is late for dinner; those old feelings begin to surface once again. Has he found someone else? Whenever he becomes annoyed at the situation, Joe may be tempted to escape to another place without all the pressures of home.

The once strong system of support offered by friends and extended family may also be shattered. Visits may not come as often as they once did. Sue not only feels she cannot confide in Joe, but feels abandoned by friends also.

If divorce ensues, children are often torn between the parents. When one parent relocates to a new city, visitation becomes more limited. Many times they see the parent they do not live with only one or two times yearly at most. Children are pained by the lack of quality time spent with the parent. Parents loose the close contact they once had with their children.

Even if Sue re-marries or finds another significant other, doubts from the first relationship continue to hinder her freely sharing her feelings since she has already been betrayed once.

Joe's money troubles have only just begun. Divorce and living the divorced lifestyle is an expensive process, both financially and emotionally. He now pays child support and has to pay his own rent or home payment as well as other bills. Joe also feels the pain of his failure. Marital infidelity has also brought pain to the instigator.

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Smart Tips To Catch A Cheating Boyfriend - Signs Of A Cheating Boyfriend

By Sabrina Summerfrield

How can you tell if you boyfriend is cheating on you? Do you follow him to find out where he goes? Do you put a trace on his phone? Read on to discover the tell-tale signs of a cheating boyfriend.

What about this, does he seem different than he used to be? Maybe he is always thinking about something and a lot more absent minded compared to before. Now he is just always busy all the time - too busy for you.

If you have seen him in a cafe or at a party and looks ravishingly great. Then he has had enough of you and is now impressing another girl. Check with his friends, where they are going and what they are doing. Often they will tell you the truth. If have heard rumors about him, you should watch him.

One example from my personal past comes from this guy I knew once. He had three phone numbers, each on one of those pay-as-you-go cells. One number he kept private for his girlfriend. Another was for all of his friends and the third one was only for girls who he wanted to hook up with. There's no way to trace any of the calls or keep records with one of these phones.

Another way to find out is to check his personal belongings and look for things like bills, gifts bought, jewellery, clothes, perfume, work life and so on. Look in his wallet and in the card if you get a chance. Be suspicious and keep your eyes open.

Finally, be curious about why he wants you to change your appearance. If he wants you to wear outfits which are not like you, change your hairstyle drastically, or even dye it a certain color, you must wonder why. Maybe he's trying to make you more like his other girlfriend and you need to figure out if this is the case. These are obvious signs of a cheating boyfriend!

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